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April 1, 2003

DCGreeks.com News

Round-Up

DCGreeks.com Camera Guy Giving Up the Life Behind the Lens

After a year and a half of taking pictures, the DCGreeks.com Camera Guy has taken his final shots. "I think it's time to move on," said Camera Guy clutching his Olympus (what other brand would any self-respecting Greek-American photographer use) C-700 Camera. "The camera had this power over me, it was almost an evil force urging me forward to take more and more pictures. My precious camera... precious... precious." 
Camera Guy complained of nights where he would end up losing all track of time taking picture after picture. "I didn't care who I took pictures of. Hell, I'd take pictures of the same five people if they wanted. The camera didn't care. It was sick."

To his credit, Camera Guy never posted a bad picture. "It was like I had a magic camera. It only took moneyshots. It brought out the beauty in everyone, except for the evil ones with the red eye. The camera knew who the evil ones were... my precious camera... precious."

Camera Guy's brother knows that it will be difficult giving up the power of the camera. "I had to stop coming to Greek Nights altogether because the power of the camera was too strong to control." He adds, "If you see Camera Guy out with his camera, under any circumstance, don't stop to pose for a picture. He needs your help in beating the power of the camera. He can't do it alone."

Local Company Offers My Big Fat-Free Greek Wedding

For those out there wanting to get married in the Greek tradition without all the expense and all the excess, Dropisou Wedding Planners, Inc., offers its clients its "Big Fat-Free Greek Wedding" package, eliminating much of the cost and much of the fun of a traditional Greek wedding.

"Let's face it, putting on a Greek wedding can be a hassle for a lot of people, and not to mention a huge expense for the bride's parents, who have already given away half their fortune in goats even before the wedding invitations get sent out," comments Steffie Dropisou, founder of Dropisou Wedding Planners. Dropisou's company saves its clients money by booking churches in rural Virginia and Maryland, that are so small, they actually offer a cash-back rebate for couples agreeing to get married there, just to increase their exposure.

Dropisou also saves her clients money by booking retired bouzouki players or finding DJs from other Balkan nations to play at the reception. She explains, "Eh, the American guests don't know the difference and the Greek guests are too sauced from my homemade retsina to care."

Finally, Dropisou's notion of a Fat-Free Greek Wedding extends to the menu. Dropisou claims, "We find that many Greeks are looking for healthier alternatives for the food at their receptions. It's amazing the things you can do with a bed of lettuce and a piece of pita bread these days."

Cat Food Company to Sponsor Local Greek Nights

Cat-Aifi Cat Food, a Baltimore-based maker of cat food since 1982, has decided to become the official cat food provider of several local Greek Nights for the remainder of 2003. "The catty behavior exhibited at most Greek Nights shows us that there is a high demand for our product at most Greek Nights," explains Cat-Aifi founder and CEO, Angelo Diabolomenos, "We tried YAL events, but the demand isn't there."

Featured flavors at upcoming Greek Nights will be Cat-Aifi's popular, "Cat-Astrophia," flavored with tequila, and the "Mr. Octopus," with real bits of octopus and squid. "Greek kitties can't get enough tentacles, especially at Greek Night," jokes Diabolomenos.

Study shows 86% of Greek Men Suffer from Crabs-in-the-Pockets

A study by researchers at the Hellenic University of Men's Studies shows that 86% of Greek Men suffer from Crabs-in-the-Pockets. A debilitating illness, Crabs-in-the-Pockets leaves sufferers with the inability to put their hands in their pockets to remove money at some of life's most important moments. It can strike at restaurants, on dates, but especially at stressful times, like birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, and Valentine's Day. Crabs-in-the-Pockets is a hereditary illness, passed down from the father's side, which first manifests itself in a Greek man's early 20's.

While there is no cure for Crabs-in-the-Pockets, studies have shown that long-term exposure to the same young Greek female may keep the disease in check. "The problem is getting a girl to stick around long enough for that to happen," suggests Dr. I.M. Ftinos, one of the researchers, a long-time sufferer of the disease. "It's especially difficult when the girl knows you have more than enough money in there, but the crabs still won't let go. I guess taking them to T.G.I.Friday's on their birthday doesn't help either, you know what I mean," Ftinos adds. 

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