The Daily Gyro (DCGreeks.com)

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The Daily Gyro
Updated Daily on Greek Time

June 27, 2005

With the temperatures soaring this month, the return of the Greek beach cop has an undisclosed number of undercover (or barely covered) men and women patrolling the seashore for pickpockets and other petty criminals. How do you spot a Greek undercover beach cop? Is a girl wearing a top on an otherwise topless beach automatically suspected to be a cop? (How embarrassing would it be to be busted by a topless cop?) Is he packing heat or is he just … well, you know.

US MasterCard holders and elsewhere were recently warned of a massive security breach at a US processing center after the theft of private information from more than 40 million credit card holders around the world. Surprisingly none of the almost 5000 MasterCards in Greece were affected, probably because any potential thieves didn’t want to deal with a long name or remembering a Greek mother’s maiden name.

Greek geologists last week discovered the fossilized remains of prehistoric rhinos, mastodons, gazelles and other carnivorous mammals near Grevena in northwestern Greece. Notable among the find were mastadon tusks measuring 4.39 meters. “All the evidence we examined suggests these tusks are the longest found in Europe,” assistant geology professor Evangelia Tsoukala told Ta Nea. "We have contacted the Guinness Book of Records, and are expecting an answer by the end of summer. We are confident the Grevena mastodon will occupy the place it deserves in the book of records," she said. In the meantime, we are confident that guys from Grevena are already practicing pick-up lines based on this discovery.

While we’ve always known the air around Athens to be bad, the European Union has finally approved Greece’s plan for CO₂ emissions trading for the next three years. Under the plan, Greece will be given 223.3 million tons of CO₂ allowances until 2007. Under this EU system, European plants that under-pollute can sell pollution credits to those who over-pollute, and are fined if they exceed their credit count. Guess which side of the line Greece is probably coming in on?

Athens investigators are looking into 24 tons of bad Canadian turkey meat that Greek veterinarians say was infected with salmonella. Does anyone find it strange that in Greece the veterinarians are the ones in charge of figuring this sort of thing out? Last time we checked, veterinarians are supposed to keep animals alive, not check on how tasty they are? Kind of makes you think that maybe there was some truth to the urban legend of why they stopped selling gyros back in the day in Greece. Isn’t that right, Fido? What do you think, Felix?